It has been quite some time since I have had to speak in front of that many people, let alone attempt to teach/lead them through a set of skills that I myself am still learning. I now remember what my fear of public speaking does to me. My throat was tight and my breath was short and my stomach was in knots. Thank goodness I had some relaxing essential oils from a fellow trainee to help calm my nerves as I waited for my turn to lead the class!
|Samantha takes the lead|
It was hard to get started, to be confident and trust in my choice of words, and to be vulnerable. I am not sure I fully got there, but it definitely got easier the longer I spoke. Teaching yoga is like speaking a foreign language right now, so much thought must be put into just how to say something to ensure the outcome of the instructions leads them into the position you had intended.
When leading students into Savasana and after guiding the first few rounds of meditation, I also found it quite difficult to let the silence be. The empty space feels like forever and a million thoughts of what the class might be thinking were running though my head. When I wasn't participating myself, it was hard to remember what a comforting and personal experience these moments are, and the need for the silence to find them.
|In the yoga bubble|
Week two of the 200 hour yoga teacher training is flying by, and I have been trying not to think about how soon this experience will come to an end, three weeks seemed like a long time leading up to the trip and now seems like not nearly enough. I have loved my time here in Bali so far (well maybe except for those spent in Chaturanga - but the massages help). There have been challenging times; days I was sick, my body hurt, refusing to do what I was asking it to do, and practice seemed never ending. However, even in those tough times I wouldn’t change a thing. As we have learned, it is through suffering we grow, and each hard time has taught me something. I have learned so much already; but my teachers here have so much to offer and there is still a lifetime's worth of things left to learn. I wish I could stay in this Bali yoga bubble a little longer. For now I am doing my best to live in the present, to take in every moment, every sight, smell and opportunity to learn, and to make the most of the second half of the training and my time here in Bali.